Helping without taking over

There’s a Festival of Fixing at the Barbican Centre in London on Saturday. Bring something that's broken and volunteers will help you repair it. They won't do it for you - but that's the point. They'll do it with you. The intention is that you learn something along the way.

I like being useful. After thirty years of parish ministry, I’ve had plenty of practice making decisions with others. Hopefully we regularly get it right: though I do remember hearing a colleague saying to someone else, "I just wish that sometimes he'd simply tell me what to do!"

Sometimes stepping in is exactly what is needed. When people are busy or times are uncertain, taking something off their hands can feel like kindness. It can be kindness.

But it can also establish a pattern. Next time, they wait for us. In our busy-ness we shortcut to the decision. They lose confidence. Eventually we wonder why everything seems to depend on us.

When speaking with Claire Pedrick on The Coaching Inn last November, we started talking about the relationship the Christian theme of Advent has with coaching. One of the insights that emerged was the ease with which o

ur intention to increase someone’s agency can actually end up reducing it.

❔Who might benefit from you fixing something with them?

❔What is the balance, for you, between enabling the other and making yourself indispensable?

❔What do the Advent themes of faithful waiting, holy anticipation, and embodied hope mean to you?

You can listen to the episode here: https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-bwasz-19b7ea5