What is said and what is heard.

In recent days, words have been doing heavy lifting.

At the State Visit every word and phrase from Donald Trump and King Charles III is being weighed. And those appearing before the Foreign Affairs Committee on the appointment of Peter Mandelson are choosing their words with equal care.

However, it's not just in what is said. It is in what is avoided, softened, or left hanging in the air. As the king put it: “When my mother visited in 1957, not the least of her tasks was to help put the 'special' back into our relationship after a crisis in the Middle East. Nearly 70 years on, it is hard to imagine anything like that happening today.”

However, we also know that a misjudged phrase or a misplaced word can create a ripple and shift the tone. It can alter relationships, unsettle markets, or quietly close down options that were previously open. In these settings, mis-speaking may be used against you to reframe the whole conversation, sometimes irreversibly. This requires real attentiveness.

Attentiveness matters in coaching as well — but (hopefully) for a different reason. Coaches are not listening to catch you out: they listen to open something up.

A hesitation. A repeated phrase. A sentence that almost lands, then doesn’t.

These are not slips to be corrected, but doors to be noticed.

As I’ve reflected elsewhere, a single conversation can hold disproportionate weight — a moment that shapes far more than it appears to on the surface .

So the work is simple, but not easy:

* to listen for what is said

* to stay with what is not said

* then , gently, to help you hear yourself more clearly.

That's when attentiveness blossoms and clients thrive.